Ribeezie

Build Real Relationships, Not Spam Shit!

Posted on 20. Dec, 2009 by Ribeezie in Community

Ever run into That Guy before? You know, the one with the hidden agenda that goes straight for the sales pitch as he introduces himself. It happens both on-line and off-… It’s uncomfortable. It’s annoying. The approach is sooo disingenuous. Frankly, it’s spam! And we don’t like it…

To quote Jeremiah Owyang:

Unfortunately, networking doesn’t work this way, relationships take time, getting to know folks requires patience, and people are generally cautious –if not fearful– of Johnny come lately that is asking, rather than giving.

People instinctively have a good B.S. detector. We can tell when someone’s being disingenuous and has a secret agenda. We dodge those people and don’t really care to follow up which basically makes this a #networkingFAIL for you (the salesy pitch dude)…

Build Your Network Before You Need It (but do it the right way):

I truly believe that networking/relationship building is pivotal to one’s success. But as Jeremiah noted above, this takes time and energy. So if you’re going to build your network, build it. But build it before you need it! Why does it matter? I’ll quote another source for you: Tara Hunt in The Whuffie Factor

The reason people don’t listen to you is because they’re too busy listening to their friends.

#FACT…nuff said!

A few things I’ve learned over the years…

• Do Your Research. If it’s a conference you’re going to, do your background check on all the big hitters (speakers, organizers, etc.) so that when you meet them, you know who they are, what they’re about and so that you have something to say (perhaps share a common ground) when you meet.
• Dress for Success. This includes your website, your business cards, your everything! You gotta look sharp and be on your A-Game at all times.
• Be Interested (listen intently). When you talk with people, ask them about themselves. Pay attention, remember their names, they’re stories, etc. Look for things that you might have in common. Then, after you’ve had a riveting conversation, go for the business card exchange.
• Practice Your Elevator Pitch. Not so you can toss it around all the time as you shove business cards down peoples’ throat but so that when people ask you what you do, you can speak intelligently about what that is. The better and more eloquently you can communicate that, the easier it is for people to recommend you to others.
• Follow up. Follow up is everything! Try a hand-written “Thank You” card. Or a personalized video email (I use Eyejot for this). If I happen to have taken photos at an event, I write a blog post like I did here, and I share the link in my follow up emails and LinkedIn invitations to people.
• Seek to Be Helpful First. Give, Give, Give. Be as helpful as you can when and where you can. Then, the rest will take care of itself. You’ll build a following one fan at a time. And whether that fan becomes a client or not, he/she will recommend you passionately and without hesitation to others. I guess you can call it good karma but seriously it works! So remember, relationship before the sale!

Want more? Pick up a copy of Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone. It’s all about networking and relationship building and it’s a mighty damn fine read! My boss at Merrill Lynch recommended it to me years ago and it still sits there on my bookshelf with hi-lights and post-its for me to reference every once in a while…

What About You?
What behaviors have you observed from people in a networking environment that come across as “salesy”? What advice can you give a networking newbie (whether on-line or off-)?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribe to the feed to have have future articles delivered to your feed reader. You can also subscribe to Ribeezie.com by email.

Tags: Community, Social Media, social networking